| Sep. 12th, 2006 | 08:09 pm | ||||||
Work has been pretty good, we had a few really really bad nights but other than that things haven't been tooooo hectic. I found a nice church here in Pitt that I am starting to go to. Its a great big huge Church. Bigger than any I have ever belonged to, but it is nice, to see so many people worshiping together, knowing eachother, its really interesting. I am hoping maybe I will make some friends through there. I really wish I could find a man. I like a couple of different guys. One lives so far from me, I doubt he will ever get up the guts to commit to me. He is probably just going to spend the rest of his life making excuses for why his life isn't good enough. The other is someone I met at work. He actually works on the boys unit upstairs from me, but he is really nice. He works an occasional shift down on my unit, and I occasionally will pick up a shift upstairs to get away from my girls for a little while. My girls can be so petty they drive me nuts, not like the boys are much better but still. So I traded cell phone numbers whith him but he hasn't called me yet or anything. I sent him a TXT the other day just asking how his night was at work because I knew he was working but never ran into him. He told me the next day at work that he had just got the message that morning after it had no meaning anymore because his phone had went wonky and just died on him so he had to charge it overnight. I guess the point that he appoligized for not responding means something. He is a nice guy, he is probably already taken knowing my luck. *sigh* I am never going to find a decent guy who is not already attached. I suppose I will just keep trudging along like I always do. |
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1 black rose - Put a rose on my grave | |||||
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calm
| Jul. 27th, 2006 | 09:17 pm | ||||||
So work is going well. I am really enjoying it for the most part. Some days are just hectic and crazy and seem like they will never end, others fly by quickly. Im nervous for this weekend, it is my high school reunion. I hope it goes well. I switched my schedule around at work so I could go. I will work in the morning then come straight home and get ready and go. Im gonna be tired when I go though. I work till 11 the night before, get home at like 12:15 and be awake at 5 am so I can go to the morning shift the next day. I am going to go sleep now, so I can get up and go at it for another day tomorow. I hope I am doing well at my job, I feel like I am, but its so hard to tell. Each of us who work there have our own unique ways of working with the kids. I try to remember, that for all their problems they really are kids, they really do need to laugh, have fun and just be kids sometimes. I think that helps them a lot. |
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Put a rose on my grave | |||||
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sleepy| Jul. 24th, 2006 | 10:23 pm | ||||||
I miss being able to play on the net so much. I think I may start looking for an apartment in Pittsburgh soon. I know rent is going to be expensive up there and I pay out so much already for my car insurance, car payment, and student loans. I suppose I will just have to keep looking, perhaps just the right thing will fall into my lap. |
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1 black rose - Put a rose on my grave | |||||
| Jul. 20th, 2006 | 08:15 pm | ||||||
My best friend had her baby, I sure wish I could be there with her helping her out...I miss her so much, and her little girl, my rosey. |
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1 black rose - Put a rose on my grave | |||||
| Jul. 14th, 2006 | 10:20 pm | ||||||
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1 black rose - Put a rose on my grave | |||||
| Jul. 10th, 2006 | 10:08 pm | ||||||
I will post more when I have more time. I am just so excited...Im turning into a grown up!!!! |
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1 black rose - Put a rose on my grave | |||||
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ecstatic| Jul. 3rd, 2006 | 06:55 pm | ||||||
So I have been in happy mode recently, getting ready for my job to start. I had to go today to get a physical and TB test. I am sitting in the waiting room, filling out this paperwork....I began to wonder...should I lie about my back? Should I tell them I had this old injury? I decided to be honest. I didn't want it to come back to bite me in the ass later....well, never mind the later, it bit me anyways. I am going through this phyisical with this asswipe of a dr., he reads over what I marked on my history and goes, whats this about a spinal injury. I explained I had a herniated disk over 2 years ago, that I went through Physical Therapy and have been fine since. He goes well when did you last see the dr? I said Oh, about 6 months ago, it was a routine scheduled check up and everything was fine, I don't even have another appointment scheduled. He goes well I am going to need a letter from him, saying you can work. I was like I don't even go to him anymore! He was like I want it. Either produce the letter in 7 days or I am going to disqualify you and you will not get the job. I was like holy shit! I walked out of the office nearly in tears just because I was so upset. So I call my drs' office. The ladies at the front desk go "well he isn't going to do this, your not even a patient here anymore." I was like Look! If I don't get this I am going to lose this job. She was like, Not gonna do it! So I call the place where I had my physical back and they refuse to budge. One doctor is telling me because it was only 6 months ago I was there I need the letter, the other is telling me, it was 6 months, Im done with you. I wanted to just rip my hair out in fustration. So I call the drs office again, I get the lady to agree to put a note on his desk, along with the thing that asswipe had given me and I had faxed to her. About 2 hours later, they call back. The Dr is sending a letter. I wanted to cry in relief. I swear...I can't take much more. People wonder why at 23 years old my nerves are already shot..this right here...this is why! Every day of my life is like this. I am lucky that God has given me people to help me get through these times, I sure can't do this alone. So another obsticle hopefully over come....I sure hope he accepts whatever my dr. wrote in that letter. *crosses her fingers and prays* Oh yeah...and asswipe says I need glasses.....apparently more glasses then the little contact lenses that are already in my eyes... What an idiot! |
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1 black rose - Put a rose on my grave | |||||
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distressed| Jul. 1st, 2006 | 03:20 am | ||||||
.... Why am I going again? I hated high school... .... I don't know why I am going...haven't figured that part out yet. I guess because I keep hoping things will be different. But will they really? Or will I still just be me..the wierdo loser. I mean I have graduated college, I have a grown up job, nice car...but will they see me differently? I guess I will find out soon.... .... |
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2 black roses - Put a rose on my grave | |||||
| Jun. 27th, 2006 | 12:05 am | ||||||
I have recently graduated college, and landed directly in the real world. I moved home, got a job, an hour from my folks house. So then I had to get a car, since my old one was a POS car. I took out a loan, bought a little chevy malibu. So now...Im workin, drivin my new car....And yet. Still my life blows. For one thing, here I am, almost 24 years old...and I am still single. I am begining to think that my true wishes of having a husband and a family and a family dog and a house, are just daydreams that I should give up on. I don't know, maybe I am just in a bad mood, not sure anymore. Some days I am content with the life I have, others I feel like this is nothing compared to my friends lives. I look at two of my closest friends, who are now dating. Once again in my life I am the third wheel. I knew before they even told me, call it sixth sense or whatever you want, but I just knew it would end up this way. They will probably get married, and I will forever be the third wheel. The friend they keep around because they like, but who hangs around only because she has nothing better to do. I have recently decided that if I just mearly drown my sorrows in rpg games, then I have nothing to worry about. My biggest pet peeve these days is the men I talk to on the internet. They act as if they love me, as if I am amazing. But I know deep down it is because they enjoy talking to me but would never date me if they knew me in real life. What is so wrong with me that men don't want to date me. I mean everywhere I go, I see others my age, and they are all dating or married to someone. Is there something so terribly wrong with me? I truely wish I understood life. |
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1 black rose - Put a rose on my grave | |||||
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cranky| On a different note | ||||||
| Aug. 11th, 2005 | 08:43 am | ||||||
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1 black rose - Put a rose on my grave | |||||
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depressed| Aug. 11th, 2005 | 08:25 am | ||||||
So a while ago here Shawn randomly messages my best friend Sabrina. This is what he says to her BulletGd (12:30:17 PM): hi connlkangel (12:30:19 PM): hi BulletGd (12:30:48 PM): how are you connlkangel (12:30:53 PM): alright, you? BulletGd (12:30:56 PM): good BulletGd (12:31:22 PM): how is the littel one connlkangel (12:31:31 PM): great. How's the girls? BulletGd (12:31:37 PM): good BulletGd (12:31:45 PM): therei BulletGd (12:32:12 PM): there in the next room connlkangel (12:32:17 PM): oh cool BulletGd (12:32:41 PM): i am working on payroll rightnow connlkangel (12:32:50 PM): huh/? BulletGd (12:33:01 PM): did youmake it to cal connlkangel (12:33:06 PM): yes, I did BulletGd (12:33:11 PM): cool BulletGd (12:35:49 PM): i do my own payroll for my mowing job connlkangel (12:36:07 PM): you're mowing? Not working where you were before? BulletGd (12:37:09 PM): no i did not kiss there ass so they let me go connlkangel (12:37:37 PM): oh BulletGd (12:38:05 PM): i am makeing more mony now connlkangel (12 :38:11 PM): are you? BulletGd (12:38:37 PM): 1800 per month connlkangel (12:38:47 PM): good for you, are you paying taxes? BulletGd (12:38:54 PM): ya connlkangel (12:39:04 PM): good BulletGd (12:39:25 PM): a 1/3 of what i make BulletGd (12:39:50 PM): for the month connlkangel (12:39:56 PM): cool BulletGd (12:40:52 PM): today has been the frist i have been home in two weeks connlkangel (12:41:02 PM): home where? BulletGd (12:41:28 PM): i my freands joe place connlkangel (12:41:43 PM): oh, you're not living with your wife? BulletGd (12:41:50 PM): no connlkangel (12:42:01 PM): why not, I thought you were back together? BulletGd (12:42:10 PM): no BulletGd (12:42:35 PM): why do you think that connlkangel (12:42:46 PM): because you dumped lish, and ran off. BulletGd (12:43:06 PM): not what happend connlkangel (12:43:10 PM): ok connlkangel (12:43:12 PM): tell em then connlkangel (12:43:14 PM): *me BulletGd (12:44:09 PM): it has do with a lot that happend with my kids connlkangel (12:44:16 PM): your kids? BulletGd (12:45:17 PM): how thay got along with lish connlkangel (12:45:32 PM): they didn't get along with her because she tried to get them to listen to her rules connlkangel (12:47:04 PM): If they lived with me, they'd have to listen to my rules too, most ppl are that way, but I don't aprove of hitting kids either, so I bet you and I would have fought BulletGd (12:47:35 PM): not that it was what was said to them wean she thought i was sleeping connlkangel (12:47:50 PM): I don't know a thing about that honestly BulletGd (12:48:43 PM): i no butt my kids come befor me and there happenss come frist connlkangel (12:49:08 PM): that's a good way to feel. What did she say to them? BulletGd (12:49:23 PM): alot connlkangel (12:49:28 PM): like what? BulletGd (12:50:09 PM): can not recall alot of it BulletGd (12:50:24 PM): butt i do miss her connlkangel (12:50:28 P M): I am just curious what she could have said that was so bad. I don't think Lish is a mean person BulletGd (12:51:51 PM): i do not think she now she said alot of what was said with her work 2 jobs connlkangel (12:52:05 PM): maybe she was tired and frustrated. connlkangel (12:52:19 PM): people sometimes say meaan things just because they are stressed BulletGd (12:52:36 PM): i now connlkangel (12:52:54 PM): I am going to go smoke, I will be back BulletGd (12:53:25 PM): have go to need to feed the kids BulletGd (12:53:59 PM): say hi your hud for me BulletGd (12:54:23 PM): hub BulletGd (12:55:01 PM): new laptop can not get use to it connlkangel (12:56:57 PM): I am back connlkangel (12:57:31 PM): I just wanted to say that if you misss her maybe you should call and apologise. If hse doesnt want to ge together, you can be friends BulletGd (12:58:47 PM): i sent an im to her she must be a sleep connlkangel (12:58:55 PM): maybe, she moved BulletGd (12:59:35 PM): i no do not now to were connlkangel (12:59:40 PM): me neither connlkangel (1:00:08 PM): and maybe next time you are mad at somebody, it would be better to talk about it to them instead of leaving? BulletGd (1:00:48 PM): i will im you later on in the week connlkangel (1:00:51 PM): ok Now of course, he never IMed her again, big surpise after she told him how it was there at the end and he skips town huh? So Everything he says in here is a lie. I know all that for facts. He lost his job because he did not go to work. His own boss told me that when she called the house looking for him. He doesn't have any money because he was bitching just a couple of weeks ago about "borrowing gas money" to get to Sebring which is 10 minutes down the road! And this stuff about me saying stuff to his kids, I have no idea where it came from. Bri was the first one ever to hear that story no one else ever had heard it and I treated them kids like they were my own! Yea, so maybe I had some rules, isnt' that how every house is. You don't let your kids play in the street. You don't let your kids just leave without telling you where they are going. You have time limits on phone and internet time. ETC. Those were my types of rules. Oh yea and shoes come off at the door. OMG I am such an evil bitch! WOAH everyone watch out right! ?? !! What the fuck ever! Anywhoo, about a week or so later I get a random fucking message from him, and I have absolultally no desire to talk to him, but I decide to ask him what he wants. I am not nice about it at all, because I feel I have no reason to be! So here is what was said! BulletGd: hi LuCy G 82: hello? BulletGd: how are you LuCy G 82: well I am fine, but why are you messaging me, you have spent all your time avoiding me, and now you just suddenly want to talk? BulletGd: no i have not LuCy G 82: bullshit LuCy G 82: you leave with no notice, and leave me with a load of shit that I had to take care of, bill etc, that you should have helped with, avoid me for all this time and now just like expect me to want to talk etc? I mean what the heck? BulletGd: fine i will not talk to you then LuCy G 82: I just wanted a straight answer thats all. BulletGd: about LuCy G 82: I mean you left me with all those bills, took stuff that was mine, treated me like shit when I dropped off your stuff, how am I supposed to feel? BulletGd: what do i have of yours LuCy G 82: my tools, my CDs, my games, Frances's Games LuCy G 82: The money you owe me for bills BulletGd: did you get the gun LuCy G 82: its at the police station BulletGd: i pay the bills wean i get my gun LuCy G 82: its not technically your gun Shawn, you told my dad you told everyone "I bought this gun so Lish would be safe" It is registered in my name, that makes it legally mine BulletGd: ok BulletGd: why did you say i broke into the house LuCy G 82: i didn't LuCy G 82: I never said that LuCy G 82: I told them you were the only person with access to the house b/c you had a key BulletGd: that is what the cop sad LuCy G 82: I know he didn't say that LuCy G 82: b/c I didn't say that BulletGd: yes they did joe was outthere whean he come to the house LuCy G 82: I am not going to argue over something pety like this, b/c I know what I said and that is not what I said BulletGd: i do new what was in the report LuCy G 82: bullshit BulletGd: i have a cop of it BulletGd: cope LuCy G 82: bullshit BulletGd: i lost my job becose of it BulletGd: work fond out so the fired me LuCy G 82: you lost your job b/c you called off to much, don't try to pull your shit with me, I know b/c I talked to your boss when she called the house to talk to you, I know that for a fact BulletGd: what ever you say BulletGd: i did not what to pissy you off just thouht i wloud say hi BulletGd: and see how you are LuCy G 82: I just never thought that you would leave the way you did, I always though you had at least some balls, but I guess i was wrong LuCy G 82: But I am doing great, I am happy, just wish I hadn't lost so much money having been screwed over because of you, I ended up loosing a lot of money because of that apartment and finalizing bills and shit LuCy G 82: that wasn't cool, it was a shitty thing you did LuCy G 82: I cared about you, but found out it was obvious you didn't care for me so, ya know whatever its all good, I move on, live my life BulletGd: fine bye LuCy G 82: bye then BulletGd signed off at 3:17:43 PM. Now, I love how he does not defend himself, he is just so caught up in all his lies and bullshit. Its just like how many stories can I tell, I can't keep them all straight. Now, for one thing it would be illegal for him to have a copy of my police report that I gave. That is my personal statement. He couldn't have it. And why the fuck would I say he broke in, what the fuck! Thats so dumb! Now his whole little shit about I pay money when I get my gun, its not your gun dumbass. If it was his gun than the police would not have been able to recover it for me would they. My best friend brought up a very good point and one that scared me a little. Why the hell does he want it so damn bad. Is he planning on going out and threatening someone with it. He has done it before. I mean there has to be some reason he wants the thing so bad. The thought of him owning a gun scares me a lot. I don't like it one damn bit. He isn't supposed to have guns because of his prior with guns anyways. He isn't responisble with them so he shouldn't have them. It is so scary to think about all the people who run around this town and this world with guns who are so irresponsible with guns. :( *goosebumps* So yeah I am a bit pissed off. Just want rid of him and he won't go away Am glad to have my friend back though. Jeret is now dating my friend and the three of us are hanging out and having good times. Maybe I can actualy find a decent guy instead of an asshole and life would be nice for once, ya think. Ha, maybe I am living in a dreamworld too |
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Put a rose on my grave | |||||
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annoyed| Aug. 1st, 2005 | 09:48 am | ||||||
 If you don't already have an account, you should go get one...I love neopets, it is too much fun ;) go sign up, click on my pretty little fairy! |
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2 black roses - Put a rose on my grave | |||||
| Jul. 26th, 2005 | 08:34 am | ||||||
http://chineseculture.about.com/lib |
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2 black roses - Put a rose on my grave | |||||
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creative| Jul. 21st, 2005 | 07:31 pm | ||||||
02. I will then tell what song/movie/icon reminds me of you. 03. If I were to apply an o'clock to you, I'll tell you what it would be. 04. I will try to name a single word that best describes you. 05. I'll tell you the most memorable moment I've had with you. 06. I will tell you what animal you remind me of. 07. I'll then tell you something that I've always wondered about you. 08. Put this in your journal, if you feel like it. |
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3 black roses - Put a rose on my grave | |||||
| Daily horoscope what if..... | ||||||
| Jul. 21st, 2005 | 01:35 pm | ||||||
First this is my daily horoscope In addition to being good at your job, you also pride yourself at being an expert at your hobby. Regardless of what it is, from sewing to photography to an artistic way with words, you should know that you're plenty good enough at it to make some part-time cash, and that earning from what you love doesn't lessen its value. In fact, it increases it. Don't pass up any chance now to share your skill with others What kind of hobbies could I have and be skillful at and make money?? OH MY!! I am glad thats not my hobby! My My My, Those dirty minded horoscope writers! |
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Put a rose on my grave | |||||
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contemplative|
Lish |
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